Gilbert & Sullivan's Blade Runner

Blade Runner: or, The Replicant's Revenge 

by Gilbert and Sullivan.

Deep breath...

Are you the latest model of a modern android replicant?

For in the nightmare future robot servants represent
A cheap source of labour
But if we dislike their behaviour
We don’t execute them: we mark them for retirement.

Now you may want to tell yourself “I’m no menace to society!
“I don’t remember fleeing from an offworld colony!”
You may recall when you were born
Or a prancing unicorn
But trust me any memory could be planted artificially.

You might like eating sushi, neon signs and cars that fly
And permanent advertisements for Coca-Cola in the sky
But you’ll find it’s all in vain
For memories like tears in rain
Get forgotten in just four years, and then you'll find it’s time to die.

So… Don’t come back to planet Earth or Rick Deckard or another
Blade Runner will hunt you down and shoot your robot lover
A blaster shot will hurtle
Through you if you flip the turtle
So tell me only the good things you recall about your mother.

Can you tell if you are human, as the androids all yearn to be?
Or if Deckard is a replicant with any sort of certainty?
Will Rick and Rachel stay alive?
Was it four bots or really five?
Just be warned the sequel goes on for all eternity!